Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
