Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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