Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
