He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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