I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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