so let's talk penis.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
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