u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
