He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
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What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
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is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends