You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...