She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
