not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
