I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.