I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost