nut hugger
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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