thanks...oh and i got my period
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.