I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
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