But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
