Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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