Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
