How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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