I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
