so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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