Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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