So drunk, too bad you don't want this
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
