I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
