Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
