I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize