did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
