There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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