Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
