she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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