Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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