i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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