i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
no you cant smoke seaweed
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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