Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
