I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
You can't motorboat a personality
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
