whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize