watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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