I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize