We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
In other news, I just burned my penis
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Randomize
