That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I see more hoeing in ur future
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
