before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
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If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
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Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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