Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
