Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
