He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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