well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
