we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
