considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
foreskin is a definite game changer
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
