guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
dude. I can hear the air.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
