"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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