i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
