I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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