im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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