I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize