you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
