I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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