I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
