walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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