What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
