no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
