So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
