So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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