If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i don't like sucking hair
farters have to be the big spoon...
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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