Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Randomize
