She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
