Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
