What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
