Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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