He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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