You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
