I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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