Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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