Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
