Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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