don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize