so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
