I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
