youre lurking in front of me
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
My vagina is officially offended.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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