did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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