my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize
