I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
